quipsandthwips | Deerington Inbox

[ OKAY FINE, she's stepping back to help him up, but her face is all crewed up while she does it, mouth a thin line, and as soon as he's back on his feet she's back on her path of storming right by him! damnit! ]

That was for making me watch you torture yourself for six weeks, you- asshole. [ gwen you already said that ] And- And- [ she's looking around his apartment now, the livingroom anyway ] How is your apartment a mess again already? How? [ her eyes blow wide, and she's TOTALLY pointing an accusing finger at him. SO. ACCUSING. ] I cleaned this place up while you were away, I made sure everything was neat for when you got better and got to come home, and you already messed it all up. [ he doesn't even really have that much stuff to 'mess all up' but whatever!!!! ] You're the worst. You're- You're the one who makes people that are the worst say "wow, he's the actual worst".

[ is she crying? why is she crying? she's mad! this is anger! nobody here is relieved that he's alive and no longer looking like her dead best friend, post-lizard serum here nobody. she grits her teeth like she might yell more, but instead all that comes out is an angry: ]

Is your nose okay??

[ IS YOUR NOSE OKAY!!!!!!? basically ]

[He looks utterly stunned and guilty the longer she rants, sitting there with a hand over his nose and a slightly opened mouth. And he stands up, still pretty much frozen and mortified by what he's apparently caused to come flooding out.]

I'm — I'm sorry.

... I didn't mean to be the actual worst.

[Nope, still shell-shocked. Oh, god, she's crying. He's awful.

Say something, Peter. Say something!]

Umm!! It's alright! Totally 100% alright!

And my nose is fine.

[He takes his hand away from the nose, as if to show her that everything's good—

Aaaand both nostrils start dripping blood.

There's no better time for a record-skipping noise.]

Oh, god, you're bleeding.

[ the crying is involuntary, that's for sure, almost secondary because it's not making her breath catch, she's just- emotional? and used to not acknowledging that. so, y'know, it's kind of good that his nose is bleeding ( and already starting to bruise a little at the bridge, shit ) because it gives her a reason to huff and wipe at her cheeks while she looks around for a tissue or a napkin or something.

luckily, there's a small pile of flimsy take-out napkins on the coffee table. there. that works. her thumb rubs at her eye as she holds out the napkins for him, like she can force the tears back into her face instead of letting more fall. which, of course, they do. but. she's trying. ]

I came here to give you a hug but then my brain went punch him instead. [ she even does a silly voice there. "punch him" ] I'm not going to apologize for punching you. But I'm really glad you're not dead. [ she not yelling anymore, at least ] I don't know how the hell you survived that stupid virus, what with the whole- disregarding your own health thing, but I'm glad you did. [ a beat ] You're not allowed to die, by the way. Ever. Or even come close to it. I can't believe you never got that memo.

Just a little.

[Said with the complete nasality of someone pinching their nose.

He becomes a fabled Mouth Breather until she throws him some napkins, and he applies them generously before looking at her with sympathetic, guilty uncertainty of what to say next. He really... pissed her off, huh? Yep. He should say something, even if he looks stupid with a bunch of napkins shoved into his face.]

... I'm sorry, really. I swear, I... It wasn't really that fun for me either.

I never would've hurt you or anyone I cared about on purpose, y'know?

[It just. Happened. And he admits, maybe he pushed himself pretty hard there, but...

But he's Spider-Man.]

I just — after Devil's Breath, I... I had to work as hard as I could.

But people still died, anyway. And I — still failed to catch anything in time.

[ gwen's just moseying over to his couch so she can flop down on it, head tipped back so she can sight up at the ceiling. not at him, not really, it's just a big sigh. and then her hands are both coming up to fold over her forehead, fingers lacing together. god. ]

You didn't fail. You helped lay down most of the groundwork- Made it so everybody else just had to fill in the missing pieces.

[ at least, she's pretty sure that's how things ended up. everything got a little splotchy there, in the- memory department. whether it be from exhaustion or whatever else. she doesn't remember. she doesn't want to remember. ]

And- I get it, Pete. Kind of. I get what it's like trying to make up for the past. [ hence the whole, y'know, wanting to die before letting peter parker die thing. but boy, isn't that the most complicated thing when every other peter she meets is spider-man? ] Peter's gone, he's just- gone, and I don't know if it's because he just woke up, or if he died when we split up to sleep after taking on some monsters together, or what. Maybe sometimes this place can't bring somebody back to life, and that means they're just- gone. And the thought of losing you too, just- [ there's another sigh at the ceiling. which she's still staring at, because there's no way she'd be able to say this while looking at peter, nope ] I don't think I'd be able to handle this place without you. So. [ gwen, use your words.

nope. no words. no more of those, apparently. ]

... Hey, you shouldn't talk to little of yourself there; you'd be great, with or without me cramping your style.

[He moves to sit down next to her, looking ahead while she looks up, still clutching napkins to his face as he considers her words carefully. He heard about Lil Pete's vanishing, and it had left a flurry of concerns about whether he'd actually left the town or — or whatever happens, when people are just gone. Hopefully the kid's just doing his web-swinging thing at home; he won't accept any other paranoid answers, from himself or anyone else.]

Pete's gonna be fine, right where he needs to be — back home, protecting people.

And I'm fine, too. I could've not been, but I am. I know it's hard to let go of those kinds of thoughts, but... you've gotta cut yourself some slack here, because I'm gonna need you as much as you think you need me.

[ that gets a little grunt of protest. but talking ( and thinking ) so little of herself is what she does best. she's really good at it. she thinks so, at least. don't take that from her. but he sits next to her so she of course ends up slouching a bit more, just so her cheek squishes against his shoulder once she tips her head sideways. ]

I hope you're right. About Peter, I mean.

[ he's obviously wrong about everything else he just said ]

Mn. [ ok so he's wrong ( obviously ) but it doesn't suck, hearing that. that maybe it's not so one-sided, despite all of her bullshit hangups with her peter. well okay, they're not bullshit. they're really, really justified. she knows that. even if it's hard to admit it. it's a weakness she's never going to come to terms with, especially if it makes her freak out every time any peter parker comes too close to death. but anyway- ] Can't we just hermit and never leave the house? I feel like we should just hermit and never leave the house.

I know I'm right. Us Spider-Parkers are made of pretty tough stuff.

[That's not remotely encouraging, he knows, especially when he'd nearly died this month, but... hey, it's how they work, you know? They brag about how obnoxiously difficult they can be at accepting death... until they die. Shush. He leans into her, too, so that they end up being this sad leaning tower; the guy's still warm with a low fever, but it's nothing compared to the burning skin Gwen had felt while he was bedridden.]

... Speaking of Spiders... you know being hermits isn't really in our job occupation, right?

[ he's okay, he's okay, he's okay.

she doesn't know if she's repeating it in her head for herself, or for the symbiote. maybe a little bit of both. it's easier, now that she's calmed down, but she's still working through it. scales, the memory loss. god. it was all too close to him, but he doesn't know that, so she needs to get her shit together. it just presses home how there's still so many secrets, even though he's one of her best friends here. she knows he has his secrets too, though. one thing at a time. ]

Do spiders hibernate? I think I've heard that they hibernate. [ she sighs ] I know you're right. And I'll keep fighting as long as you keep fighting. But this place is just exhausting.

[He's not... going to let her know some spiders live only through one season and die off by the time winter comes along. Because that's really kind of the concern, isn't it? The fact that some Spiders are in constant peril and may not make it to the next summer?

He purses his lips, staring at the far corner of the ceiling.]

Some spiders hibernate. They make insulated cocoons and hide under bark or rocks until the winter's over. The common house spider just lives in your house like your really quiet, anti-social roommate.

[He glances at her.]

... To be honest, I'd be exhausted here or there.

[He just... gets really tired. Brain-tired. Riddled with anxiety.

It's whatever.]

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