quipsandthwips | Deerington Inbox

Don't you protect Mr. Mime!

[ Despite that, he has a small little smile on his face. He looks far more relieved than he has in a long time. Feels it too. ]

You could try it, baby boy, but you'd end up in the lake, not me.

[ Look. Even if he knew he was talking to Spidey, he'd be singing the same tune. ]

You'd actually be really surprised. Usually it's like people's go to option. Like when they find out they've knocked someone up. You're totally the type to stick around if you knocked someone up too. Congrats.

[ Wade shakes the thoughts out of his head, and offers Peter a softer look. ] But definitely still feel obligated to bring me coffee daily. I'm not used to the morning company. [ It's nice. Real nice. ]

... Gee, thanks. Good to know I wouldn't be a MIA dad.

[Boy, sure hope nobody gives him a scare someday by faking him out with the possibility for a son.

That'd be stressful as fuck, yanno????]

I'll bring the coffee, you keep making the casseroles for me to steal when you're not looking.

It's not stealing if I'm making them for you.

[ He opens his mouth to say something else -- then abruptly stops.

That's weirdly domestic, huh? ] Yeah, it is. All of this is. I should stab something quick! [ Wade looks around. ] Not him! I'm not stabbing him.

[ Wait! ] You'll keep coming over? [ Reel it in, Pool. Where is his mask, he feels naked. ] I'll make you a million casseroles or pies. Or casseroles AND pies.

[ He's not lonely, what gives you that idea? ]

[He blinks at that, as if Wade had said something surprising. Not bad. Just. Surprising. But really, is it that weird, that a friend makes something for you? Yeaaah, right. Everyone knows why they're both weird about it.]

Well, yeah. I mean, I might stop coming over if your place gets anymore overrun with weird knick-knacks.

... Besides, my place is a dump, most of the time.

So you're saying you don't want to get murdered by a demon possessed doll in your sleep next time you KO on my couch?

[ Wade can't help but grin over at him. ]

A dump is what you're going with? Really?

[ Just gonna zoom past any awkwardness. ]

[He puts a hand on a cocked hip, squinting at Wade.]

First-off: absolutely, 100% that's the reason. Not even a joke. I'm not going to be the victim that inspires the next Conjuring movie.

And second: what word would you use, wise-guy?

[ Wade holds up his pointer finger. ]

Nothing I own is haunted, as far as I'm aware. I'm the scariest thing in this house. But if it was. I am super great at stabbing ghosts so you should see my demon stabbing skills.

[ They're non-existent.

He raises another finger so it looks like he's making a peace sign. ]

Hoarder's paradise?

... Is hoarder supposed to be a positive word now?

[He gives pause, looking around.]

I'm actually kind of thinking we should do an episode of Ghost Adventures here.

Just to be safe.

Nope. [ He pops the p, apparently not very invested in insulting Peter seriously. Or, well, taking it seriously, anyway. ]

Okay, but you're Zak, because you're the cute bossy one. And I wanna use a spirit box. Hey, you're freaky deaky smart, can you make one?

[ Oh, no, he actually seems excited by this idea. ]

Oh, boy, I'm ready for my debut!

[He hops onto his tippy toes, surprisingly well-balanced on the chair he'd been sitting on as he throws some dramatic hand gestures.]

This is Zak Baggins, come at me, ghosts!

[He stops, points an accusing finger at Wade.]

And no, I'm not making you a spirit box; I'm haunted enough by your house.

[ A laugh startles from Wade, but he's grinning like this is the best thing he's seen, and he was literally just excited about eyebrows. ]

Come on! How will I know if anything is haunted if I have no way to talk to the spirits beyond?

[ :( !!!! ]

What if one of them murders me because they wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but I didn't know because I can't talk to them?

[He lets his arms settle on his bent knees, raising an eyebrow]

You could always just leave peace offerings on the counter.

[... That Peter will eat, when Wade's asleep, like a ghostly Spider-Santa.]

I'm guessing the spirits are telling you they prefer wheatcakes and chocolate to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

[ He's not implying you're a liar and a fatmouth, but he is doing exactly that. ]

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