quipsandthwips | [PSL] The Vinsmokes vs. Spider-Man

[PSL] The Vinsmokes vs. Spider-Man

[Peter Parker is doing fine.

Let him re-phase that: he's adapted and adjusted accordingly. Look, it hasn't been easy. Deciding to remain friends with MJ and still finding himself without an actual job or home to speak of doesn't beat losing both his mentor and his last surviving family member. There are empty spaces in his life that he tries not to linger on too long — but god, he misses May's smile, her voice, her kindnesses. It had taken so long to accept Ben's death... and now it's, just... it's hard. It's easier to just be Spider-Man for a while.

Crime doesn't sleep, after all. So yeah, homeless. That's no biggie. He's been there before. He mainly just works at FEAST with the homeless (he relates, and the new head honcho Miriam knew Peter was on the streets somehow, so he makes his keep there by volunteering. He, um. He gets to sleep in May's old office. It's... nice. There are still pictures and stuff hanging up that nobody had dared move.

So he's only sort of homeless now.

Anyway. Not important. What is important is keeping tabs on the villain activity around here. With most of the villains locked up aboard the Raft (not gonna even think about Dr. Octavius right now, because it still hurts too much), it's mainly these little obnoxious crime families and gangs; Kingpin had been the leader of all the gang activity before his arrest. And now it's this crime family. The Vinsmokes. Hard to get them arrested, and they've got so many secret strings being pulled all over. It makes for a real pain in the ass to deal with. He hasn't gotten a chance to catch the head honcho with anything criminal yet, but boy oh boy has he busted soooo many drug deals, weapons manufacturing, stolen goods deals — and so on.

Most of the grunts are easy-peasy. The literal family are all a bunch of super-powered heathens like him. Cool. He's gotten, like, three of them locked up on the Raft... only to have them somehow bought out, or released for shoddy police work, or something or another. Now there's just one locked up, but it's only a matter of time before Daddy Vinsmoke does his magic.

Ugh. He hates it.

2:30 a.m., and he's down by the docks and sticking against a nearby wall as fake money exchanges hands.]

Hey, do those work on any vending machine?

I'm dying for a bag of Doritos right about now.

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First off -- that's called an abuse of power, FYI. [Pointing the broad end of a spatula directly at Peter's nose]

Secondly, no, never went to a pizza place because I already know how to make a shitty pizza.

[A pause, then abruptly correcting with a slight wince in his voice]

Well, not shitty shitty, the pizza tastes good. Just. Y'know, my version of "shitty."

[YOU GOT ALL THAT?]

[He crosses his arms, unyielding.]

It's not just about the pizza! There's an atmosphere! [He fans his arms out, as if making a grand speech — when it's literally just about pizza. But we all know, Peter fully endorses his pizza overlords.] And besides, sometimes cheap pizza is better than cuisine pizza. Or whatever magical pizza you sneeze out into existence with your blessed chef genes.

["Just go get some pizza, for the love of god," one of the old regulars with shockingly white hair says. "He's not gonna stop talking your ear off 'til you go."]

[It's like trying to shake off an overzealous puppy, Sanji notes with some mild aggravation. At least his brothers get bored of causing him shit when Sanji doesn't react the way they want. Peter, meanwhile, will absolutely keep this up until his ears bleed, so agreed there, old-timer.

He gives both of them the stink eye anyway.]

Tch.

[Listen, buckos, it's not just that Sanji isn't interested in pizza parties. There's the little detail on how his cover might be blown if he's out socializing with Good Samaritans who would probably travel miles to buy an old lady some tissues if she sneezed in his direction. Not really good for keeping low profiles!

Hence why he looks ready to turn Peter down again -- only to hiss out an irritable sigh and size the guy up]

... You're gonna regret this.

[...]

... Gimme five minutes to clean up.

[u g h]

You got it. Awesome! Okay, okay, I'll be — hanging out by the front.

[Oh, he brightens at that, and gives the worst thumbs up.

Why do you tolerate this guy again?

Anyway, Sanji can't use him running off to change his mind, because Gloria and company are more than happy to hurry him along if he drags his feet. "You guys have been working hard; go have a decent night out for once in your miserable lives," is exactly what she says. It's totally not a date, though, even with that Look in some of their eyes. It's just a friendly thing! Sanji needs a friend. Peter had decided this pretty soon after he'd shown up, looking like a hot mess in sweats.

And anyway, he thinks there's someone really kind and fun, under all the teeth and claws and hissing. And someone who might not always be, uh... bad. If that's the word for it. Criminals can turn their lives around, right? Even mob criminals? If Peter can... he should try to save this guy in some way, even if it's kind of a corny way, like out of a movie.

Save the guy, get him out of that life.

Wishful thinking, maybe, but...

Anyway, he's outside in a thick coat, ready to walk; it's still light out, so it's not, like, a totally scary voyage through the streets on foot. The way back'll be kinda dark. Probably. Unless Sanji quits mid-bite and leaves.

He's not about to admit he's kind of jittery, like he's worried he's not doing any of this right.

After all, the guy's not the easiest person to read.

What if he's making this awkward?]

[Getting Sanji to have a good time is like getting a crocodile to laugh: assumedly impossible, but that might just be because no one's ever bothered to try. Either way, once he acquiesces to Peter's demands, the man keeps to his promise and shuts up his fussing. He'll greet him outside in the same outfit he always wears -- gray sweats and a hoodie -- looking at peace with the weather despite the stinging cold.

... Though for someone who was ready to take Peter's head off when it was suggested they get food, Sanji is surprisingly on his best behavior. Or maybe his resting bitch face is losing its edge.]

So, which way we headed?

[Patting down his pockets, and then sighing when they turn up empty. No cigarettes. Of course not.]

And mind if we take a detour? Left my cigarettes somewhere...

[He will totally resist making a joke about Sanji's terrible fashion sense, just because he's on his best behavior. Instead he just jabs a thumb in the direction they're heading, a sort of pleased expression on his face.]

There's a place along the way with one of the best bodega cats you'll ever meet... The bodega chihuahua, not so much. It's almost got my ankles a couple of times, but sometimes that's just how it is when you're dealing with a rescue.

[He's already walking, hands in his pockets and a sort of confident stride in his step; he's in his best place, other than a lab: the city streets, where he feels like he knows the entirety of it in and out. Like the back of his hand. He's swung by so many places, learned so much about the people... learned how to protect each section to the best of his abilities.

Man, he sure hopes the city'll let him rest tonight, just a bit.

He loves rescuing her and her kids, but sometimes Spidey needs a break.]

[Walking half a pace behind Peter, the other might miss how Sanji's head tilts in bemusement. This man has no idea what a bodega is, so the assumption is it's a rare breed or some shit.]

You like animals?

[Assumption being yes because he can't imagine Peter not liking anything. It's like being nice is in his DNA. The type of guy that life loves to dick around, in Sanji's opinion.

... Well, he supposes in Peter's defense, he hasn't died yet. That's gotta count for something.]

[He blinks back at him.]

Of course! You'd be able to resist holding a puppy or kitten? C'mon.

[He kind of wants to hold one right now, since it's been brought up. Granted the dogs and cats he has to help on the streets are usually really mean — Spider-Man's greatest foe, a feral cat in a tree. But even still...!!]

I could never own pets, what with pet-free apartments. So I just visited all the shelters and bodegas and pet shops I could as a teenager, just to get some time in with the furry population.

Tch, s'just an animal.

[Oh he says that, but his visible eye has lightened up with amusement as Peter rambles on about ankle-high furballs.]

Damn though, I'm surprised you never tried sneaking a pet into your apartment. Doesn't everyone do that shit? You're only guilty if you get caught.

[Spoken like a crime lord's son tbh... ]

Spoken like someone who's never snuggled a puppy before. [He wouldn't be surprised, if Sanji's never snuggled a puppy. Just saying. But as he stuffs his hands into his pockets he grins.] I can't believe you'd think I'd do something like that; I was a totally polite and respectful nephew to raise.

I mean, maybe I snuck in a baby squirrel once or twice...

[A pause.]

We'll have to stop by a place with cute kittens or puppies, sometime.

It's really therapeutic, y'know. All those cheek kisses and fluffy tails.

[Yeah no, Sanji has never snuggled a puppy. Heathen. Did he even have a childhood? Probably just sprang up from the ground, fully formed and grumpy.]

I do that and Gloria's gonna be after my ass when half my customers complain of kitten hair in their soups.

[NOTICE HOW HE DID NOT SAY NO, PER SE.]

... And like hell you were that well-behaved. [Leaning forward as he sizes Peter up, like he can peer into all of his secret childhood shenanigans]

C'mon, spill. What's the worst shit you got away with?

[Size up all you want, Sanji; Peter looks like he's genuinely trying to recollect some bad stuff he did as a kid. Kid, of course, is 'any time before the bite'. Once he was bitten, well — nothing was very normal.]

... I got a B once, in P.E.?

[............ No, nope, that seems to be all that immediately comes to mind.]

... [S-straightening up, expression mystified]

Listen, I know I call you Boy Scout, but...

[Mmmmwow? It can't be legal to be that much of a cinnamon bun. Sanji's starting to regret this little venture of theirs, in fact; why in the world is Peter hanging out with a guy like him?

-- Never mind Peter doesn't know know him, probably wouldn't be able to swallow the idea of Sanji being a crime lord's son, and -- Jeez. This is all so complicated...]

I mean, that's uh -- good? Better than the alternative. Raising you must've been a breeze.

Edited 2019-01-31 07:09 (UTC)

[He huffs a laugh.]

Guess so... I mean, not to sound depressing but — part of the reason I was such a boy scout to begin with was because my parents passed when I was six, so I was... always kind of worried when I was little, that they'd re-think having me and ship me off to a foster home.

[It's been a while since his parents died and these lingering concerns plagued him, so... it's really not all that terrible for him to dredge up, judging by the casual way he speaks.]

They still had to deal with medical issues and self-esteem you couldn't see with a magnifying glass. The closest I ever got to playing basket ball was being thrown into a trash can.

[Ah... that does explain it. Sanji's eyes tick to the side, quiet despite himself. There's a truth to that which has his mind wandering back to his own childhood, in the way that only the discussion of dead parents can.

Though before he has time to ruminate in his thoughts, Peter ruins it with that basketball quip.

Sanji nearly chokes on his own tongue laughing.]

... You were a nerd in school, weren't you? Computers? Science? Which was it?

All of the above.

I was the skinny kid with glasses, who worked on robots for science fairs and ate lunch in the chem room to avoid getting my head shoved in a toilet.

[Looking at his abs and well-appreciated company now?

Talk about a fucking glow-up.]

... Damn.

[Puberty was very kind to someone. Sanji can't help but give Peter another glance over, eyebrows arched and head shaking in vague amazement. Bodies are weird.]

You still do that stuff now? Robotics?

... Yeah. I mean... Yeah!

[Oh, that seems to throw him off for a moment. Because actually, he does — he did.

Not even as Spider-Man.]

It didn't work out, but, um. I did do some work. Mostly robotic prostheses for amputees.

Funds ran empty, though, and the guy I worked for... well, he got into some hot water.

[He's being honest, though almost brutally omissive. But how is he supposed to tell Sanji that his idol, friend, and boss had been the one to cause Devil's Breath? Who killed his aunt and so many others? Who betrayed his trust and completely ruined everything they accomplished together? No, there are still too many terrible memories from that, memories that probably haunt the expression he wears now.]

I've been considering some job opportunities. Just need time to think.

[Sanji makes no comment on Peter's sudden, flustered moment, just nods with a soft hum and shoots his gaze forward.

If anything, he's a little... relieved, knowing that Peter's work has only covered robotic prostheses. Means there's little in the way of overlap with genetic engineering and mapping. His father likely wouldn't know of him.

Good. That's good. Just a wholesome career for a wholesome guy. Nothing that would get his dumb ass into trouble.]

I'm sure something'll come up. If you're that much of a nerd, bet you'd be in high demand no matter the position.

[Breezing right along, Sanji voluntarily nudges Peter in the shoulder]

Oi, but anyway -- where's this shitty pizza place of yours, eh?

[Just gonna gently steer them toward a topic that (hopefully) doesn't freeze Peter up.]

Not too far, promise.

... We really have to work on what you use 'shitty' as an adjective on...

[He's humored more than anything, though (and relieved that the guy's steering the conversation away from the uglier stuff). Leave it to some mob boss' son to be a potty mouth in general — it all seems like knee-jerk conversation seasoning. He nudges him with an elbow as they carry on down the New York street, and they pass the time with the most inane chatter about pizza toppings and if 'fruit pizzas' can actually be such a thing — as well as the classifications of what makes a sandwich.

By the time Peter shoulders the door open to the dingy little pizza place, he's more than happy to get out of that weather; Larry himself is visible in the back, casually slinging dough, while his wife chews gum at the little bar and checks her nails.

She brightens and waves, when she notices Peter.

"Hey, handsome! Haven't seen you around lately! I've been getting bored of this old bastard back here."

Larry just huff-grunts, as is his personality.

(Sanji, look, it's you in 40 years.)]

Oh, well — had to bring in a friend to try out your stuff! He's never been.

[The woman with the nametag 'Priscilla' looks Sanji up and down, smacking on her gum. "... He's pretty cute, too. I guess he can stay. But we don't allow smoking in here!" Apparently, she has the nose of a bloodhound.]

[Peter gets lucky. Entering the store cuts off Sanji's energetic rebuttal on why pineapple pizza is not the sin of humanity everyone thinks it is, that shit makes perfect sense from a flavor standpoint--

... Man, but what a dingy looking place Peter leads them into. Dime a dozen in this city, the type that his family wouldn't be caught dead in. Heh, he likes it already. And his eyes roam across the off-colored walls before they settle on Priscilla, offering both a nod of consent and a low smile]

Wouldn't dream of it.

[They didn't stop for cigarettes anyway, so yeah. Sanji's dry of his usual poisons. ~~ignore that icon~~]

He says you guys make good pizzas. [A nod in Peter's direction.]

[Larry just grunts in the back, accent thick and almost sooty in nature. "They'll fill you up." Which is to say, Larry is definitely so humble it's probably a negative trait at this point on the 'humble' scale. But Peter just grins at the man who doesn't even look their way.

"You're the man, Larry!" someone hollers, a bit tipsy, from the back of the relatively well-stocked bar area. There's a baseball game on — a rerun, or maybe one from a later timezone; Peter's not paying it too much attention as he sits down at one of the tall tables nearest to the bar.]

He's one of the best. I know just the pizza to get, too.

That's kind of the best way to find anything in New York — look for places with a lot of history. Larry's dad, grandpa, and great grandpa ran this place. [He leans forward, keeping his voice low.] His dad was totally nuts, and when I was little he used to tell me my glasses were how the government was tracking my movements.

I mean, he gave me candy from his pocket that was probably a million years old after that, so he wasn't so bad. But definitely crazy.

[Humility is a commodity that Sanji can appreciate, no matter how much shit he gives Peter for it. His eyes remain locked on Larry working the dough, too, bright with interest, until Peter steers them toward a table. Hn, gotta wonder if it's bad manners to ask the guy some questions later...

-- Also it's kinda awkward knowing his father probably pulled the "bugged glasses" bullshit on someone with a lot of money and secrets, so this sounds like a valid concern to him. #mafiaproblems]

What, you had glasses, too? Shit, did you dump everything that outed you as a nerd?

[Looking almost disappointed by this. Sanji could have been calling Peter four-eyes this entire time]

And I dunno -- we live in a city where someone dresses in spandex and swings from buildings. Bugged glasses sounds almost tame in comparison.

I'm gonna just ignore that you were agreeing with Grandpa Larry Senior for a second there, just so I can find offense at you being mean to young me. Glasses can be totally popular and cool!

[... His hands wilt a bit from his lively gestures.]

It's just the other added characteristics I had that made me a nerd.

[He blows out a breath, tapping his hands on the table.]

School was rough. I'm more than happy not to relieve that mess again. [Oh! As he talks, Priscilla delivers a menu and a coupla pints, something to just start getting the edge off; Peter's never been much of a drinker, really — especially not since that time he did a bunch of backflips and hugged a pizza box to sleep, to which MJ took photos that she's safeguarded on icloud — but he does like loosening up a little.

Hell, he really could use it. The last few months have bean nightmarish.

... So maybe this is kind of an excuse for him to relax. It's easier to force himself when he thinks he's only doing it to get Sanji acquainted with the pizza shop.] ... Any toasts you'd like to do? Though I guess a pint isn't really as fancy as a wine glass...

Oi now, don't get jealous, I can agree with whoever I wanna.

[Leaning the weight of his chin into a hand, nearly smirking. Since he can't make fun of young Peter for being a nerd (he is, in fact, not quite that meanspirited), this will have to do for now.

That pints are a surprise, though, as Sanji hadn't expected to do any drinking tonight. His glance is dubious at best when he eyes it down. In all the ways this could go poorly...]

Oh, y'know -- we could toast to us not getting mugged on our way back because we're too drunk to walk in a straight line.

[What a killjoy. Though in a more serious response, Sanji shrugs while lifting his pint. He's never had anything worth toasting to, to be honest. Certainly not his family, his life... so maybe instead:]

Why not to FEAST? May it keep standing and avoid shitty big rigs for the foreseeable future.

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