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[quipsandthwips]

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[quipsandthwips]

[................. Yup, just as he thought.]

Usually people follow that up w/ what they need someone for.
Because if it's "investigating old haunted houses" then the answer is N-O.

[4thwaller]

I wanna do that thing you suggested
testing my healing factor
I have a sewing needle and everything

I'm getting tired of crawling out into the forest whenever I break a leg or shatter my hand.

see it could technically be life or death

[ Also he wants to hang out. ]

[quipsandthwips]

[......................................

Dammit. Locked in, no escape.]

Where do you wanna meet?

[4thwaller]

[ Oh boy!!! ]

the forest with the creepy trees??
It's far away from people.
not that being poked with a sewing needle would kill them
but I have Standards
Aren't you glad I didn't serenade you with Every Breath You Take.
That would have given this a whole new creep factor.

[quipsandthwips]

Oh, cool, that's a great place to meet with someone who attracts danger.

You know there are a lot of those with the creepy trees, you're gonna have to be specific.





And I'm not even gonna address the deleted scenes for your serenade.

[4thwaller]

I'm more dangerous than probably anything here.
it's fiiiiiine.
Probably.

[ Have an address to... a book store? ]

The forest across from there.
is that specific enough for you
I'll be the guy in the big red body condom.

[quipsandthwips]

So hey about that.
Whats with the constant superhero suit?
That thing is gonna start smelling really bad if it's not already a germ hangout.

[He knows from experience, so...]

[4thwaller]

You can't just ask someone about their supersuit!!!!!!!
have some class!!!!!!
I've never been so insulted!!!!!!!!!

W O W

also I TOTALLY WASH IT
HOW DARE YOU???

[quipsandthwips]

OKAY WELL HOW WOULD I KNOW?
I'M NOT A SUPERHERO! >:(



... If it's washed once a month that's still bad btw.





Are you already there or am I gonna have to actually wait like a sad date.

[4thwaller]

YOU SURE???
BECAUSE YOU SURE LIKE TO COCKBLOCK ME AT SUPERHEROING???

IT'S NOT ONCE A MONTH
you're BAD.
why are you on my dick about this????

I'm already here.
let the court know that it was Peter that implied this was a date first
I'm the innocent one here

[quipsandthwips]

Let the court know you're the one who had to bring dicks into this conversation
but go off, I guess.

[Look he's hip! He's with the young people! He knows the internet lingo!]

also I said 'LIKE'

sim·i·le
/ˈsiməlē/
noun
plural noun: similes
a figure of speech involving the comparison of one thing with another thing of a different kind, used to make a description more emphatic or vivid (e.g., as brave as a lion, crazy like a fox ).
the use of simile.

[Very hip, using dictionary definitions to object.]

so no flowers, please.

[4thwaller]

You're still talking about dicks.
so who is really the winner here???

[ IS HE.................? ]

Did you really just text me the definition of simile????
Remember that time I told you I'd never been more turned on in my life???
It's like the opposite of that right now but like x1000

[ Urgh. ]

I only do flowers on the third date.
handjobs on the first though if you ask nice enough

[ He's probably being sarcastic.............. Probably. ]

[quipsandthwips]

Oh don't worry, I'm not asking.

Got more quippy perverted one-liners to get out of your system before we do this?

[OH NO HE'S ONTO YOU]

[4thwaller]

Your loss.

They come to me naturally I can't just get them all out of my system.
that would be like demanding Beethoven play amazing music without a second's notice.

[ IS HE??? ]

I'll try to clean it up for you though, baby boy.

[quipsandthwips]

I mean I bet he could've...
I'll be there in like 2 minutes.







And it's 'Peter', or 'Parker' if you're yelling at me about deadlines or something stupid I did.

1/2

[4thwaller]

STOP POKING HOLES IN MY SIMILES
I'll be counting down.

[4thwaller]

Excuse me??????
rewind
what???

[ LET HIM MAKE SURE HE'S TEXTING THE RIGHT PETER. HIS HEART JUST DROPPED TO HIS ASS. ]

No.
Yeah.







why Parker?
that's a weird nickname

[ ................... someone help him. ]

[quipsandthwips]

Uuuuh????

Because


that's my surname?



The last name of my parents?





Passed down through the lineage?





Wade you have a last name you know how it works.

[4thwaller]

WILSON.
I have a normal last name!!!!!
not PARKER
why Parker
Peter Parker
No
I KNOW Peter Parker
he is a sweet ray of sunshine
not a sour cabbage patch you

HE'S LIKE TWELVE
YOU'RE NOT.
I WILL NOT SIT DOWN
NO THANK YOU CHRIS HANSEN
I'M LEAVING
GOODBYE

[quipsandthwips]

what are you





Oh.




Dammit, Wade, I'm not twelve I'm 23.
We're not the exact same person we're just like 80% the same.
Also Peter's at least 15

which I guess is pretty close




Maybe 70%??? 65% alike???? Okay I can't even be sure of what's the same but





We're from different universes!





wade come back don't go throwing yourself off something high

[4thwaller]

SIMILE DATE IS OFF
which was never a date or like a date or anything
Nevermind forget it


I STARED AT YOUR ASS
WE TALKED ABOUT DICKS

[ He jokingly offered Peter Parker a handjob........................... Oh god. He's gonna blow his brains out b y e. ]

[quipsandthwips]

Ok but I'm a grown man
it's not a big deal, it's just jokes with a mutual adult.



I mean okay it's probably a little freaky for you but I'm definitely not this kid, we don't even have the same face. And his eyes are brown. And we have totally different voices!




Think of it more like a kid's older (totally hip) brother or something.






Also this is probably divine intervention for wearing your pervy cap so brazenly not gonna lie.

[4thwaller]

[ He's not responding anymore. He's just going to go hide in his house. Peter putting an emphasis on how he's an ADULT is just freaking Wade out more. ]

[quipsandthwips]

Are you SERIOUS right now?
Come on dude I came all the way out here!


It's December, it's cold!






you're being totally unreasonable here







[A decent walk and some huffing later, and he's knocking at your front door.]

[4thwaller]

[ Peter's probably lucky Wade is the one to answer his front door and not Cable. He doesn't open it all the way either. Just enough to poke his head out and squint through his mask at Peter. ]

Why and how do you know where I live? And stop blowing my phone up or I'm literally going to blow it up.

[ Oh, and hey he has x6 more weapons strapped to his body than he did last time. Yes, those are swords. ]

Go away.