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[quipsandthwips]

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[quipsandthwips]

I had a thing for the Little Mermaid growing up, sorry man.
Not your shade of red.

You're the only person I can see singing Journey during something life or death but I also am not inclined to completely believe you without photographic evidence.

[... after all that outdoors camping, this bowl of generic cereal is too good to abandon for just any goofy request for help, so...]

[4thwaller]

ugh you would
SHE COULDN'T EVEN TALK FOR HALF THE MOVIE
Ursula was way hotter

I dont have time to take a photo.
Scout's honour!!!

[quipsandthwips]

You had time to serenade for three minutes?????

[4thwaller]

You're gonna feel FUCKING AWFUL when I turn up dead!!!



Fine
it's not life or death
But I do need you.

[quipsandthwips]

[................. Yup, just as he thought.]

Usually people follow that up w/ what they need someone for.
Because if it's "investigating old haunted houses" then the answer is N-O.

[4thwaller]

I wanna do that thing you suggested
testing my healing factor
I have a sewing needle and everything

I'm getting tired of crawling out into the forest whenever I break a leg or shatter my hand.

see it could technically be life or death

[ Also he wants to hang out. ]

[quipsandthwips]

[......................................

Dammit. Locked in, no escape.]

Where do you wanna meet?

[4thwaller]

[ Oh boy!!! ]

the forest with the creepy trees??
It's far away from people.
not that being poked with a sewing needle would kill them
but I have Standards
Aren't you glad I didn't serenade you with Every Breath You Take.
That would have given this a whole new creep factor.

[quipsandthwips]

Oh, cool, that's a great place to meet with someone who attracts danger.

You know there are a lot of those with the creepy trees, you're gonna have to be specific.





And I'm not even gonna address the deleted scenes for your serenade.

[4thwaller]

I'm more dangerous than probably anything here.
it's fiiiiiine.
Probably.

[ Have an address to... a book store? ]

The forest across from there.
is that specific enough for you
I'll be the guy in the big red body condom.

[quipsandthwips]

So hey about that.
Whats with the constant superhero suit?
That thing is gonna start smelling really bad if it's not already a germ hangout.

[He knows from experience, so...]

[4thwaller]

You can't just ask someone about their supersuit!!!!!!!
have some class!!!!!!
I've never been so insulted!!!!!!!!!

W O W

also I TOTALLY WASH IT
HOW DARE YOU???

[quipsandthwips]

OKAY WELL HOW WOULD I KNOW?
I'M NOT A SUPERHERO! >:(



... If it's washed once a month that's still bad btw.





Are you already there or am I gonna have to actually wait like a sad date.

[4thwaller]

YOU SURE???
BECAUSE YOU SURE LIKE TO COCKBLOCK ME AT SUPERHEROING???

IT'S NOT ONCE A MONTH
you're BAD.
why are you on my dick about this????

I'm already here.
let the court know that it was Peter that implied this was a date first
I'm the innocent one here

[quipsandthwips]

Let the court know you're the one who had to bring dicks into this conversation
but go off, I guess.

[Look he's hip! He's with the young people! He knows the internet lingo!]

also I said 'LIKE'

sim·i·le
/ˈsiməlē/
noun
plural noun: similes
a figure of speech involving the comparison of one thing with another thing of a different kind, used to make a description more emphatic or vivid (e.g., as brave as a lion, crazy like a fox ).
the use of simile.

[Very hip, using dictionary definitions to object.]

so no flowers, please.

[4thwaller]

You're still talking about dicks.
so who is really the winner here???

[ IS HE.................? ]

Did you really just text me the definition of simile????
Remember that time I told you I'd never been more turned on in my life???
It's like the opposite of that right now but like x1000

[ Urgh. ]

I only do flowers on the third date.
handjobs on the first though if you ask nice enough

[ He's probably being sarcastic.............. Probably. ]

[quipsandthwips]

Oh don't worry, I'm not asking.

Got more quippy perverted one-liners to get out of your system before we do this?

[OH NO HE'S ONTO YOU]

[4thwaller]

Your loss.

They come to me naturally I can't just get them all out of my system.
that would be like demanding Beethoven play amazing music without a second's notice.

[ IS HE??? ]

I'll try to clean it up for you though, baby boy.

[quipsandthwips]

I mean I bet he could've...
I'll be there in like 2 minutes.







And it's 'Peter', or 'Parker' if you're yelling at me about deadlines or something stupid I did.

1/2

[4thwaller]

STOP POKING HOLES IN MY SIMILES
I'll be counting down.

[4thwaller]

Excuse me??????
rewind
what???

[ LET HIM MAKE SURE HE'S TEXTING THE RIGHT PETER. HIS HEART JUST DROPPED TO HIS ASS. ]

No.
Yeah.







why Parker?
that's a weird nickname

[ ................... someone help him. ]

[quipsandthwips]

Uuuuh????

Because


that's my surname?



The last name of my parents?





Passed down through the lineage?





Wade you have a last name you know how it works.

[4thwaller]

WILSON.
I have a normal last name!!!!!
not PARKER
why Parker
Peter Parker
No
I KNOW Peter Parker
he is a sweet ray of sunshine
not a sour cabbage patch you

HE'S LIKE TWELVE
YOU'RE NOT.
I WILL NOT SIT DOWN
NO THANK YOU CHRIS HANSEN
I'M LEAVING
GOODBYE

[quipsandthwips]

what are you





Oh.




Dammit, Wade, I'm not twelve I'm 23.
We're not the exact same person we're just like 80% the same.
Also Peter's at least 15

which I guess is pretty close




Maybe 70%??? 65% alike???? Okay I can't even be sure of what's the same but





We're from different universes!





wade come back don't go throwing yourself off something high

[4thwaller]

SIMILE DATE IS OFF
which was never a date or like a date or anything
Nevermind forget it


I STARED AT YOUR ASS
WE TALKED ABOUT DICKS

[ He jokingly offered Peter Parker a handjob........................... Oh god. He's gonna blow his brains out b y e. ]